Managing Your Reputation: Why It Matters (and How to Change It)
Everyone has a reputation. It is the way others see and describe us. Sometimes that reputation feels fair, but other times it might be based on misunderstandings, old mistakes, or behaviours we have already outgrown.
In the PEERS® Program, we talk about managing your reputation because it is an important part of making and keeping friends. Your social reputation works like a kind of social credit score. It affects who wants to spend time with you, how others treat you, and how easily you can build new friendships.
The good news is that reputations can change. They are not permanent. With time, awareness, and consistent effort, others can start to see you differently.
Why Reputations Form
Reputations often develop based on how we behave around others. For example:
• Getting into arguments or fights
• Talking back to teachers or adults
• Teasing or joking too much
• Hanging out with peers who get into trouble
• Talking too much or interrupting others
Even when these actions do not reflect who you really are, people may make assumptions.
Sometimes reputations form around personal differences, such as having autism, ADHD, or a unique communication style. That is why part of managing your reputation includes deciding if, when, and how to share personal information in a way that helps others understand you, rather than judge you.
Four Steps to Managing Your Reputation
At PEERS®, we teach a research-based approach developed at UCLA to help people repair or rebuild a negative reputation.
1. Lay Low
Try to keep a low profile for a while. Avoid drawing attention to yourself. This gives people time to forget past incidents and see you with fresh eyes. School holidays or a new term can be a great opportunity to start again.
2. Follow the Crowd
This does not mean pretending to be someone else. It means choosing socially helpful behaviours that most peers see as acceptable. Avoiding risky or socially inappropriate behaviour helps create space for people to get to know the real you.
3. Change Your Look
Making small, positive changes to your appearance can signal growth and maturity. A new hairstyle, updated clothes, or a fresh approach to personal presentation can help others notice that you are different and give them a reason to see you in a new light.
4. Own Up and Move Forward
If someone brings up your old reputation, do not deny it. Simply say something like, “I know people thought that about me, but I am different now.”
This shows self-awareness, accountability, and confidence, which are qualities people tend to respect.
Why This Matters
Learning to manage your reputation is not about worrying what others think. It is about building self-awareness, resilience, and social confidence. It allows you to move forward rather than being defined by the past.
These are exactly the types of skills we teach in the PEERS® Program. Participants learn practical, step-by-step strategies that improve their ability to make and keep friends, handle teasing and bullying, manage social anxiety, and build confidence in communication.
Want to Learn More?
Managing your reputation is just one of the many topics covered in PEERS®.
You will also learn about:
• Finding sources of friends
• Starting and exiting conversations
• Handling disagreements
• Managing social anxiety
• Building stronger relationships
If you or your young person could benefit from these strategies, we would love to help.
Our next PEERS® intake begins soon. Enrolments are now open.
💙 Register now to secure a place and start learning the skills that make social connection easier, more natural, and more rewarding.